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I met a woman at a conference this week who is dealing with her husband’s best friend….who happens to be a female.  She is convinced that the best friend is still in love with her husband.  They were friends several years before they ever met and fell in love and during the course of them being friends she made it known to him that she wanted more than just their friendship, but nothing ever came of it so they continued being friends.  

Now…..as a woman, any woman will tell you that most women are not designed this way – I don’t care how much they mask it  When a woman loves you, she loves you.  When her heart beats that special pitter patter that says “amore”, rarely does it change unless her heart has found a comparable home itself.   Okay, well that is my two cents- back to business – 
This poor woman is contemplating divorce!!!!  She says her husband may not be physically cheating but he is emotionally absent with her but gives his heart hopes and dreams to this female best friend.   She claims that this friend tried to be friends with her like she did all of his previous love interests, but became very nasty when she refused to share aspects of their relationship with her. She said the best friend is always there, she can rarely have a dinner without the bestie calling or her husband making conversation about his “friend”. It sounds like the grits hit the fan when he wanted to give this woman a key to their house while they were on vacation.  
This is what I am pondering….would the husband tolerate his wife having a male best friend as his?  Probably not.  I cannot think of one man would be fine with his wife going to the movies with, giving a key to his house to, or constantly referring to her male best friend.  Her husband needs to think about how he would feel and then put himself in his wife’s shoes.
As for the female “friend”…..I sincerely doubt that this woman would tolerate the man in her life having a female best friend….so why does she feel that it is okay for her be in the role that she is in with someone’s husband.  
Respect and boundaries….respect and boundaries……still pondering…..

There is a difference between a “people person” and a “person who has a deep love for people” .A people person – is drawn to all kinds of people, is huggy, and entertaining, but their needs are first and foremost and they are liable to cut you to get them met. A person with a deep love for people, seeks to understand the needs of all that are involved and strives to reach/maintain respect and a true connection with others while trying to meet the needs. I am NOT finding fault with either, just saying it is good to know the difference between the two. Tootles!

The most powerful gift that you can ever give yourself and others is the gift of “resolution”. When things are resolved or when resolution happens, it sweeps a path from where you are standing now and clears it well into the future. Unfortunately, resolution is a gift that is seldom given and people are left with paths scattered with things that they are not sure whether to keep or throw to the side. Make it a point to resolve whatever you can.

Your destined purpose is rarely in the same place where your value was created or increased.  A diamond is created in the earth, but its value is determined once it is faceted and presented to the world. 
 
A clay pot does not serve out its purpose on the potter’s wheel.


Journey on…..

 

Been there done that…it serves it purpose for a while but don’t EVER, I said don’t EVER forget that you have dreams too that need to be cultivated. Don’t work so hard in someone else’s field that you forget or are too tired and bitter to tend to your own. Don’t allow someone to make you feel guilty for wanting to step into the purpose that God has destined for you. It is NOT selfish. At the end of the day, I want to be able to stand before the Lord and tell him, Lord I did want you sent me to do and because YOU already know my heart, I know you know that I really did try my best……….

Your destined purpose is rarely in the same place where your value was created or increased.  A diamond is created in the earth, but its value is determined once it is faceted and presented to the world.

A clay pot does not serve out its purpose on the potter’s wheel.

Journey on…..

As I was driving into work this morning I was blessed to hear this song on the radio and it really got me to thinking.  So many people, are looking for the place that this song speaks of and all I can say is keep living, keep trusting the Lord, and keep your eyes on Him and one day before long you are going to look up and find yourself in “this place”.  Those of you who are going through heartaches today from losing a loved one, a bad relationship, an illness, rejection or simply not being where you know you should be… the pain will stop, the tears will cease to fall, and one day you are going to feel a flutter in your chest and no, it will not be a bubble!  lol… it will be your heart coming back to life again, it will be coming off of cruise control and will start to feel and love again.  The key is not to let the storm clouds keep you from your journey.  Get an umbrella, put on a parka, gather up your rainboots….do whatever you have to do but keep pressing on.  Don’t sit back and watch others bask in the sunshine of their journey, if you give up now the only thing that you can do is wish that you were there.

There is a line in this song that says, “until I found Jesus, I never thought I’d be in this place”. Let me make this very clear, you can have Jesus in your heart, mind and soul and still not be in this place. The key is that you trust that your journey with Jesus will bring you to this place. I love the Lord with all my heart, I make every effort I can to follow his Word and I am not in “this place” and that is okay. Even with Jesus in our lives, there will be dark days, but I would rather face those dark days with the Light of the World in my heart and as my guide.

I see my “this place” on the horizon and I am pressing on…….

Real love…..
I think sometimes that real love gets overlooked like vegetables. Sometimes the people that are best for us in our lives are treated like….I don’t know, like a beet or a Brussels sprout. Little do we know that if we take that vegetable and season with a little of who we are and a little of who they are that there could a fabulous gourmet recipe for a good life together….gourmet food takes time and commitment. Unfortunately far too many people opt for the drive through at Wendy’s……..just pondering.

It is funny how the adversary will continue to do the same things in an effort to knock you off course. The things that I used to get mad at, irate at…..I just kind of shake my head now and move on.  This afternoon a notion passed through my mind that said in order for me to “have anything healthy”, healthy relationships, healthy affiliations… etc.  that I was going to have to completely separate myself from a person that I have known for almost 20 some years.  I kind of tucked that away in the back of my mind until stumbled across something this evening that confirmed that notion.    I have come to the conclusion that there are people who don’t want you to be okay because they are not okay themselves and sometimes you have to leave people where they are at and pray that they look in the mirror…… not to straighten the mask that they wear, but to take it off and look at themselves and the things that they knowingly to do others to cause pain, division, or just being manipulative. The spirit of provocation is alive and knocking at the door, but I refuse to answer it…..I am not perfect, but I thank God that I am not who I was…. 

Some men and women (sorry ladies!) are like simple farmers.  A simple farmer will be standing on good soil, warm and rich, deep beneath their feet ready for planting, but the simple farmer refuses to work the land.    If you know anything about farmers you should know that they know their land and what they don’t know they spend time with it, look for changes, watches how it responds to certain things.  They have a relationship with their land.  Sounds weird but it is true.  Hey you with the dirty mind!  Stay on the clean side of the street there buddy!  lol

A friend told me a few days go that relationships should be easy, there should be no work.  What!  I  agree to a certain extent.  A relationship with someone should not be some laborious call of duty that you check in for day in and day off.  Oh no – I am running away like Forrest Gump from that.  There is however, a certain kind of work that doesn’t seem like work at all….there is a quiet joy of getting to know someone and growing to love them more and more everyday.  The work should be fun with things like making dinner together, Redbox nights, late night phone calls, random good mornings texts, trips to the museum, or just people watching at the local shopping center.  It should also be a healthy balance of being a part and just being you sometimes….that will make the time you spend together so much more special.

Sadly, people don’t want to take the time to experience the magic of  two hearts opening up to each other.  It doesn’t happen overnight, it happens over time.  Time is the sealant between each moment and lays a foundation for what will hopefully be a lifetime of love, traditions, and memories.

Don’t be a simple farmer….if you have someone that you know is “good soil”, it might tender well to explore and create opportunities to see what type of harvest you could make together.   So often we gravitate toward people who we have that “connection” with right away.   I just don’t want a connection, I want a masterpiece, built over time and strong enough to withstand that storms of life.

A connection

A Masterpiece   …see the difference?