Month: November 2015

Sometimes not being a part of something does not mean that you are bad or unworthy, sometimes it adds to or highlights your significance….

It is hard to know what angle people may be coming from, but it is important to stay focus on where you are going….on the journey.

I met a woman at a conference this week who is dealing with her husband’s best friend….who happens to be a female.  She is convinced that the best friend is still in love with her husband.  They were friends several years before they ever met and fell in love and during the course of them being friends she made it known to him that she wanted more than just their friendship, but nothing ever came of it so they continued being friends.  

Now…..as a woman, any woman will tell you that most women are not designed this way – I don’t care how much they mask it  When a woman loves you, she loves you.  When her heart beats that special pitter patter that says “amore”, rarely does it change unless her heart has found a comparable home itself.   Okay, well that is my two cents- back to business – 
This poor woman is contemplating divorce!!!!  She says her husband may not be physically cheating but he is emotionally absent with her but gives his heart hopes and dreams to this female best friend.   She claims that this friend tried to be friends with her like she did all of his previous love interests, but became very nasty when she refused to share aspects of their relationship with her. She said the best friend is always there, she can rarely have a dinner without the bestie calling or her husband making conversation about his “friend”. It sounds like the grits hit the fan when he wanted to give this woman a key to their house while they were on vacation.  
This is what I am pondering….would the husband tolerate his wife having a male best friend as his?  Probably not.  I cannot think of one man would be fine with his wife going to the movies with, giving a key to his house to, or constantly referring to her male best friend.  Her husband needs to think about how he would feel and then put himself in his wife’s shoes.
As for the female “friend”…..I sincerely doubt that this woman would tolerate the man in her life having a female best friend….so why does she feel that it is okay for her be in the role that she is in with someone’s husband.  
Respect and boundaries….respect and boundaries……still pondering…..

There is a difference between a “people person” and a “person who has a deep love for people” .A people person – is drawn to all kinds of people, is huggy, and entertaining, but their needs are first and foremost and they are liable to cut you to get them met. A person with a deep love for people, seeks to understand the needs of all that are involved and strives to reach/maintain respect and a true connection with others while trying to meet the needs. I am NOT finding fault with either, just saying it is good to know the difference between the two. Tootles!

The most powerful gift that you can ever give yourself and others is the gift of “resolution”. When things are resolved or when resolution happens, it sweeps a path from where you are standing now and clears it well into the future. Unfortunately, resolution is a gift that is seldom given and people are left with paths scattered with things that they are not sure whether to keep or throw to the side. Make it a point to resolve whatever you can.