Month: November 2014

I have thoroughly learned the importance of having an enemy. Thank you for every lie that was told and for the lies that you continue to tell. I even thank you for the spirit of division that was cast and for the remnants that are still scattered. Thank you for every person you brought into your web of deception but was made to believe that I was the spider. Thank you for every laugh and giggle projected at my pain. Thank you for doubting the validity of my walk with God. Thank you for every word that you spoke against God’s purpose for me. Without resistance, strength is seldom gained…. and really, I just want to say… thank you.

Why are people so cruel? Saw a woman at lunch who obviously has more issues than me and most other people. Tattered clothes, missing teeth, bright pink ratted hair, her head hung low…people were laughing at her and they weren’t even trying to be discreet about it. She walked up to a table of a group of laughing women… she said “its okay I saw you laughing at me, my hair was supposed to be red but it turned pink instead, I saw you laughing” then she walked away from them. The women of course reacted totally repulsed that she even came near their perfect little bubble. This woman ordered a bagel and started walking back out the same way she came in, with people still looking at her is disbelief all the while chuckling among themselves. She stopped by my table and said ” my hair was supposed to be red not pink” I didn’t even see her hair at that point, all I saw was hopelessness in her eyes. I have NEVER seen that depth of hopelessness, this woman was lost and my heart literally ached for her.  All I could say was. ” you are not your hair, you are not what you wear.  God doesn’t want any of that, he wants your heart, your thoughts, let him take care of your heart. ”  She looked at me with the same hopeless look and said, “K” and walked away.  

I am not sharing this to pin roses on myself.  I am not so great and most days I am a step away from the edge …. but God is a keeper!!!  I love this song by Casting Crowns.  People are hurting in the world, Lord knows I have experienced my own, perhaps you are hurting right now, and this woman….this woman with the pink ratted hair…….well I wonder wherever she is ….does anybody see HER?  Not her hair, not her clothes, but does anybody SEE HER??????

It is easy to tell someone else how they should “walk in a pair of shoes” that they have never tried on themselves-therefore it can never be known what it takes for some to put one foot in front of the other each day and walk…some things are just easier said than done.

The Spirit of Confusion lives where the truth is held hostage.

A man came into the office a while back and asked for his bride then said her name, but he said not to tell her that he was there just say that she was needed in the office. So I did. While we he was waiting, I asked him how long they have been married thinking that they were newlyweds based on his “giddiness” to see his wife. He said,” oh we been married over 15 years, but I love her like the day I said I do”. (Beautiful!!!) By that time she walks into the office and sees her husband standing there. This usually straightlaced, no frills woman, all of a sudden turned into a rosy cheeked, bright eyed, giggling lady. They rushed to each other grabbed hands, look at each other and just smile and sigh. Okay by now, I am grabbing Kleenex cuz I am about to cry! He said to her, “I was in the area and I was too close not to be just right with you, I am taking you to lunch, baby”. (Water works!!!!!!). They ska-doodle off and I am left there pondering….love. That type of thing always seems just outside of my grasp, but God knows what I need and when I need it. Happy for them and still pressing on –

Too light, too dark, too mean, too nice, too quiet, too talkative, don’t have this, should of had that, too fat, too flat, too pretty, not pretty enough, too broke, just broke, too “saved” (is that possible?), still missing “the mark”, too much of this, but not enough of that…..gotta stay below the radar and fly above the storm clouds all at the same time yet stay relevant to the Call and purpose for my life…..at the end of the day I just want to see Jesus …sighs